Christmas: This used to be a lot easier...

Well, another Christmas has come and gone. To be honest, I'm feeling a bit... deflated. I don't want to sound like a "bah humbug", because Christmas really is my favorite holiday. It's just that, for the last several years, it has felt different. I think part of my problem is that I keep expecting Christmas to be what I remember it being as a child. I still get that excited feeling as the holiday season starts, but that excited feeling is because I'm waiting for an experience that I really can't get anymore. You know, the way it used to be when I was a kid. My mother always made the Christmas season so amazing. But, it's true what they say, you can't go home again. I think I keep getting let down by the holiday because I hold it up to those memories. I mean, let's face it; if you aren't a kid or you don't have kids, Christmas just isn't what it was. And maybe that's what's wrong. I keep wanting it to be what it was, when everything else about my life has changed. I need to find a way to stop being disappointed by what Christmas isn't and start enjoying Christmas for what it is to me now. I need to find out a way for Christmas to take on a new meaning for me; with new traditions, and new memories. I know Christmas is about giving and being around family. It's not like I don't appreciate those things. I love getting to see my family, and I love giving gifts. It's the feeling that seems missing. I just need to accept that I'm not going to come home one day and see my mom making cookies while listening to Christmas music. I need to be the one making cookies while listening to Christmas music. Because I really do love the holidays. I just need to stop trying to relive the past and start enjoying the now. That may be a very good resolution for the New Year. Enjoying what I've got now, instead of waiting until it's gone to miss it, too.

Relief: removal or lightening of something oppressive, painful, or distressing

I got my final grades and, thank heaven, I passed all my classes. Two A-s and a C+. So, ya, I'm pretty happy with it all. Also, I played around with some green eye shadow today. I'm really starting to dig the colored eye shadow thing.

Now for some coffee...

I was totally inspired today when I found this blog. I only looked over it for a few minutes, so I'm not sure what this girl does for a living. But she does some of the most amazing makeup. She's very adventurous with her eye makeup in particular, and it made me want to be adventurous, too. And what an easy thing to do, even with as little expendable income as I have. Though not near as daring as anything she's done (seriously, check it out, it's amazing) I tried something a little new today. Purple is the only interesting color I have right now, so I tried that with some liquid eyeliner that I've been afraid to play with. Nothing too crazy, but fun nonetheless. I liked it and I think I'll keep playing around in the future. Now I just need to hit the drugstore! Or ELF!!

What's worse than finals?

Having to wait for the final grades! I've already check three times, even though I know that they won't be posted until next week, at the earliest! Ugh! I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I knew that I had passed all my classes, but there's one class I'm nervous about. I have to get a C+ in all my classes to be admitted into the journalism program, and I'm cutting it really close with one of my classes. And if I have to take that class again, I swear I'm gonna freak out! So now I have to figure out a way to distract myself for the next three to five days. And it's supposed to start dumping snow on us for the next week, so I will be completely stuck in Brigham. ~sigh~

Well, that's it....

I'm officially done with this semester. My last final was just a couple hours ago. I'd like to say I'm excited, but I really can't be until I get my grades back cause I'm not sure I got the grade I needed out of one of my classes. Anyway, fingers crosses everyone.

"Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself" Hubert de Givenchy

I was having a little fun on instyle.com yesterday. You can upload a picture of yourself and try on different stars' hairstyles. And it's completely free. Hours of fun. So, here's a few looks I was playing around with. What do you think?

Did I mention HOURS OF FUN!

(p.s. sorry about the smile, I hate my smile.)

Interesting Little Tidbit

Did you know Utah is ranked fifth healthiest state in the nation? Yup, according to an article on MSN, Utah is pretty healthy. Honestly, it's probably because fewer people drink and smoke in this state. Just my guess. But I thought it was pretty cool.

Mama's got a brand new bag

Big Bags by r_hansen84

Since I started taking classes at the University's main campus this semester, I begrudgingly bought a backpack. I put it off until a week before school started, because I just hate backpacks! I felt like a dorky freshman allover again (no offense, freshmen), walking around campus with that awful thing on my shoulders. And on top of that, it's very hard to dress in anything but jeans and sweaters when you're wearing a backpack. They just don't lend themselves to trendier outfits. I thought I was doomed. Turns out, I was just a little slow to catch up. A big trend this year has been these large handbags. I just bought the gray one from Wetseal and now I feel like all my troubles are over. I just love it. It's low key enough to wear with a sweater and jeans, but if I feel like dressing up a bit, it goes well with that, too. I made sure and bought gray because that way I can wear it with any color. Gray is the new black of fall/winter I think. The only downfall is that my semester just ended, so I'll have to wait four weeks to truly try this baby out. But I am still so pleased with this bag. It's rare to find something that fit an idea so perfectly.

Pity: a sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy

That's what I'd like you all to feel for me. I managed to get sick right in time for finals week. ~groan~ Also, to answer Jenifer's question about ELF products, they are actually teamed up with PETA for special projects and are a cruelty-free cosmetic company. Here's the article I found.

"The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think" Unknown

E.L.F. by r_hansen84

I found this website a while ago and got very excited about it. I was a little nervous when I first ordered some makeup from them because I was afraid the price reflected the quality. I was very pleased when the makeup turned out to be good quality. I haven't had a problem with anything from e.l.f. yet. So I thought I'd share the site and a few things I plan to get in the near future. Enjoy.

Four Calling Birds

Actually, I have five. I was at Michael's craft store a few days ago and found these adorable little bird ornaments.

I don't know why I fell in love with them, but I immediately did. They are just so whimsical. A bit retro, but modern; metallic but still elegant. I had to have them. I bought five and immediately when home to set up my Christmas tree. I even think I'll go back for more.

Mine eyes have seen the glory

I just filled up my tank for $16!!! Can you believe that?! Sixteen bucks and some change! I felt a little like an idiot as I'm standing there pumping gas with this stupid grin on my face. But I was just so elated.
Maybe I won't have to get a job to afford clothes. With my gas budget cut in half, I think I need to go shopping...

"Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or kick-ass red lipstick." Gwyneth Paltrow

I've always been fascinated by red lips. I love the way it looks. So glamorous and timeless. But I've been to afraid to try it until now. I found a shade that I think works for my skin tone. Now I feel like I'm wearing way too much make-up. And all I have on is the lipstick and mascara. So, I ask you. Can I pull off red lipstick?

It's beginning to look a lot like.... Autumn?

Happy December everyone! I can hardly believe that November is over. It seemed really fast this year. It really doesn't feel like December in Utah at all. The temperature is in the 50s and there's hardly any snow on the mountains, let alone on the ground where I am. It's pretty crazy. I was looking through my closet last night and realized, I have almost no winter clothes! How did that happen? Someone must be stealing my clothes!!!

Oh, wait! I remember. I thought I was being smart when I cleaned out my closet last spring. You know, instead of keeping all the "clutter." Ya, big mistake. I vow never to throw away clothes that haven't fallen apart again. Now I need to replenish my wardrobe; which will be no easy task considering I have no job and therefore no money. And there's just so much cute stuff I want. ~sigh~

(Gloves, Black trench, Beret & Leg warmers from Modcloth.com; Sweater vest from Charlotte Russe; Blazer from Banana Republic; Ruffle top from Gap.)

I think I need to find a job!

You gotta love Rihanna

I just saw Rihanna's new video "Rehab" and it's pretty great. First, the style is amazing. The clothes she wears are so sexy. She's definitely one of today's best style icons. Aside from the fabulous clothes, can we say "Hello Justin!" Now, I find Mr. Timberlake quite attractive on his own, but in this video he takes on a submissive role that not only screams Girl Power, but makes him even hotter. And somehow Rihanna pulls it off without looking skanky or dominating. She's the one pursuing, while still being uber feminine. Very nice music video.

Pretty Necklace

So, I tried my hand at something new and I'm very pleased with the way it turned out...

I just love the look of these necklaces. I had a lot of fun making them. They're quite versatile too, since you can wear the bow in the front or the back and adjust the length with the size of the bow. They're even cute as bracelets.

Who knows, maybe I'll start selling them. Make my millions off necklaces.

I'm an emotional eater

And I think I've been in denial about it. I just had the longest week that concluded with a really crappy day! I registered for classes today and two crucial classes I needed were completely full. This could set me back an entire semester! So, I'm fairly upset. And how do I deal with it? Well, after almost two weeks of eating rather healthy and exercise very regularly, I get Mat to buy cheeseburgers! And they weren't even good and kinda made me sick! I've never really thought of myself as an emotional eater. But I think I am. I had this helpless feeling after I registered for classes I didn't want and just thought to myself "Screw it!" Not a good attitude about food, for one. And as I thought about it, I do that more often than I probably should. It like I eat things I know are bad for me in order to reward myself for putting up with bad things. As a way of almost cheering myself up. And boy does it work. I usually feel sick afterward and always feel guilty. It's kind of funny how the mind works. All I can do now is try to move on, I guess. And vow to do better tomorrow... I'm still pissed about my classes though!!

Please, Don't Forget To Vote!!!

Next Tuesday is the day. And I truly hope everyone is already registered and planning to vote in the upcoming election. I found some statistics that really made me sad. According to life.familyeducation.com only 54 percent of eligible voters cast their ballots during the last four decades of presidential elections. Compare that embarrassing number to Italy's 90 percent, Germany's 80 percent, France and Canada's 76 percent, Britain's 75 percent and Japan's 71 percent. We rank 35th in voter turnout out of the world's prominent democracies. If that doesn't make you feel a little ashamed, I don't know what will. And, honestly, I'm not sure what causes the feeling of indifference towards voting. Sure, sometimes I can feel like my vote really won't matter, but more and more people are feeling that way. This is supposed to be a strong, proud country. We need to end the apathy. In my opinion, you have no right to complain about how the country, state, county or city are being run unless you participated in the democratic process. If you aren't well informed and involved with bettering your community, how can you just sit there and complain about what's going on? I'm not trying to wag my finger at anyone, I'm just trying to light a fire under a few butts. This is serious stuff. Whether you're a Democrat, Republican or anything in between, we need to care enough about our country to really do something. This country was built on the idea that every person would have a say in how things were run. We just can't forget that.

Stylista?

Really? It seems to me that someone had a light switch turn on in their brain as they watched 'The Devil Wears Prada' a few years ago. Anne Slowey, though a very talented and successful person, seemed completely fake. From her perma-snarl on her face to the awful way she tromped in her heels, it seemed like a complete act. And if it's not, well that's even more sad. The premise intrigues me. Though I'm starting to get a little tired of reality shows (ANTM is just getting sad) the idea of working for a magazine like Elle is very exhilarating. So, I know that despite the petty fights these people will get into (does no one ever grow up?) I will be watching every Wednesday night if for no other reason than to get a peek into the world I would love to live in one day.

Follow-up: My Bipolar Body Image

So, after hearing that basically everyone suffers from "Agh, is that me?!?" syndrome when they see themselves in pictures, I went back to look at some of mine and I decided it was the way I'm posed that makes me look 30 pounds heavier than I feel. So, I decided I'd check the Internet for tips on how to look good in pictures. Though I'm not sure they'd all work for impromptu pictures, if you get used to them, they could become second nature.

• Always turn partially sideways with your weight on your back foot.
• To minimize appearance of a double chin, pull head slightly forward and press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
• Watch your posture! Pull shoulders back, chest up, and there's no shame is sucking in, but only a little. You don't want it to look like you were sucking in.
• Use items you're holding to camouflage areas on your body you're self conscious about. Like holding your purse in front of your stomach.
• Hold arms just slightly away from your body to keep the upper arm from looking flabby. But don't look like you're about to fly away.
• If you're planning a photo, opt for a monochromatic look. One color from head to toe is always slimming, even if it's not black, though darks are better at this than lights.
• Invest in some Spanx. I don't think there's a woman out there that couldn't benefit from some Spanx!
• Finally, to get a fresh, natural looking smile, look away from the camera, then turn towards it and smile just before it takes the shot. This is not easy, and takes some practice to master

I'm sure it would take some practice to master these. And if you're going to practice, do it behind closed doors so you don't look like a crazy person. Really, though, pictures aren't about looking back and thinking, "Mmmm, smokin'!" They're for memories. Remembering a great experience you had. So, I guess just stop stressing and smile. It's better than not having a picture at all.

Sources: http://beauty.about.com/od/hairstylephotogalleries/qt/photopose.htm