"If you say it out loud, it won't come true..."

I think wishes being jinxed when said aloud applies to much more than birthdays. It seems like every time I tell someone what my goals are, I fall short. Nonetheless, here I am, throwing caution to the wind. I'm telling you my wish...

I wish to be thin again.

I cringe to even type the words. It just feels like bad luck. But that's not fair. I should be able to voice my wishes and, hopefully, get some added support to reach those dreams.

I had an epiphany of sorts last weekend. I was feeling down (everyone has those days) about things in general. I won't get into details as they are certainly carbon copies of the random things everyone gets bummed over from time to time. But something struck me this time. While I may not be in control of things like the economy, school, job market, etc., I am in total and complete control of my body. Strange as it may sound, this made something click inside me. I am in complete control of what I take into my body and how I take care of it.

I feel a renewed endurance for this diet and exercise crap I've been doing for the last two months (again, with no results). I realized I haven't been doing everything I could be to get me to my goal. Now I've been able to keep this new motto, if you will, in mind with everything I do. I feel like I can do this, because it's my body. And nothing, not money, not school, not my husband, not anything or anyone can do it for me.

So, here I go. I think I'm doing fairly well, though, as I've lost four pounds. I'm sure that's not just since Sunday; I'm not delusional. But even seeing that helps motivate me. And, to really give myself some accountability, I'm willing to bear it all. Right here and now. I'm going to post my full picture, weight and measurements every month on this blog as a sort of progress report. So, if you're reading this, wish me luck, I guess.