Christmas: This used to be a lot easier...

Well, another Christmas has come and gone. To be honest, I'm feeling a bit... deflated. I don't want to sound like a "bah humbug", because Christmas really is my favorite holiday. It's just that, for the last several years, it has felt different. I think part of my problem is that I keep expecting Christmas to be what I remember it being as a child. I still get that excited feeling as the holiday season starts, but that excited feeling is because I'm waiting for an experience that I really can't get anymore. You know, the way it used to be when I was a kid. My mother always made the Christmas season so amazing. But, it's true what they say, you can't go home again. I think I keep getting let down by the holiday because I hold it up to those memories. I mean, let's face it; if you aren't a kid or you don't have kids, Christmas just isn't what it was. And maybe that's what's wrong. I keep wanting it to be what it was, when everything else about my life has changed. I need to find a way to stop being disappointed by what Christmas isn't and start enjoying Christmas for what it is to me now. I need to find out a way for Christmas to take on a new meaning for me; with new traditions, and new memories. I know Christmas is about giving and being around family. It's not like I don't appreciate those things. I love getting to see my family, and I love giving gifts. It's the feeling that seems missing. I just need to accept that I'm not going to come home one day and see my mom making cookies while listening to Christmas music. I need to be the one making cookies while listening to Christmas music. Because I really do love the holidays. I just need to stop trying to relive the past and start enjoying the now. That may be a very good resolution for the New Year. Enjoying what I've got now, instead of waiting until it's gone to miss it, too.