Check it out HERE!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
I think I may be somewhat neurotic about this whole weight-loss thing. Ok, maybe completely neurotic. I have now somehow managed to come to a conclusion of sorts. It really doesn't matter what the scale says. To an extent anyway. While I still fully plan on tracking some of my progress through actual weight loss, I'm thinking I should focus on more. For instance, is it more important that I weigh 130 pounds, or that I have toned, sexy legs that I want to show off in dresses? Is is better to weigh 130 pounds, or to feel good in a bikini again?
Really, my new conclusion is no less shallow than my last. What I'm focusing on now is how I actually look, as opposed to what I weigh. So, even if that damn scale says I weigh 150 pounds, if I look good, then to hell with it!
Monday, June 8, 2009
I was 120 in high school, but I've come to the realization that that ship has sailed. So I was thinking maybe 130 would be more realistic.
I couldn't remember what my trainer had said a healthy body fat percentage was, so I googled it and several different sources said for women age 20-40 the range is 21%-33%. I was stunned! That seems like a TON of body fat. I took out my little calculator and figured that with my 116 pounds of lean body mass I have now, adding 21% body fat, I would weigh 146 pounds. That doesn't seem like the weight of a fit, healthy 25-year-old.
Then on top of that, I calculated what my BMI would be if I were 146 and it's 25.1, which would put me in the overweight category. But at 130, I would be at 22.3, which is right in the middle of the normal range.
So now I'm totally stressed out and confused. Does this mean that 130 pounds is unhealthy even though the BMI says it's good? Or does it mean that 130 is completely out of reach for me since it would put me below the healthy body fat percentage? WTF!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I went on a run/walk this morning with a woman who is an avid runner. Carol, who has a great blog, does (in my opinion) crazy amounts of running. I mean, this woman runs up the mountain! She was kind enough to help me out with some guidance and motivation to help me get to the point where I can actually run. You may remember me mentioning the Wasatch Woman Love Your Body 5K/10K that is in August. I gotta tell you, August seems to be coming fast, and I haven't noticed any improvement in my running abilities. I'd really like to be able to do the 5K, just for the satisfaction of completing it. I guess we'll see.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Well, it's the first of the month. Time to weigh and measure myself. This part still makes me want to huddle in the corner, hugging my knees and rocking, softly telling myself "it's not about the pounds; it's not about the inches; it's about how you feel. It's not about the pounds; it's not about the inches; it's about how you feel..."
I'm sorry, but it is about the pound. It is about the inches.
You know those people who say they changed something in their lifestyle, be it drinking water or exercising, and the weight just started to "melt off"? I want to punch those people. This is the slowest, most difficult, least rewarding thing I've ever done.
I know that technically I should be doing this for my health. So that at age 50 I'm not diabetic, asthmatic or arthritic. But is it so terrible to want to look good? To want to look like I've been working my butt off four to five days a week at the gym?
This is just hard. And a part of me (the part I do my best to keep suppressed deep inside of me) wants to throw the mother of all tantrums, screaming "IT'S NOT FAIR!"
But then there are the good days. I have noticed that I don't have nearly as many fat days as I used to. You know, the days where all you want to do is sit in your dark living room, in your baggiest sweats, the only sign of life the flickering light from the television on your face? Ya, those days don't come up quite as often anymore.
I also have to say that going to the gym is feeling less and less like a fight and more like a normal part of my day. I'm almost starting to enjoy it.
So that is the roller coaster that has been my life this past month. And for the part you've all been waiting for, I'm sure. In May, my weight was 174, my chest was 40.5", my stomach (the largest part, not my actual waist) was 40", and my hips were 45".
Today, June 1st, my weight is 170, my chest is 39.5", my stomach is 39.5", and my hips are 44". Progress? Yes? Only meager, at best. But it's still enough to keep me going, so I guess that's enough.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I had the strongest craving for a cheeseburger tonight. And I totally caved!
I'm not proud of myself. And my stomach is rather unhappy with me as well.
I always seem to hit the proverbial wall two weeks after starting a healthy habit. I successfully broke through the exercise wall, but my diet wall has been tougher. I've been doing pretty good the last couple of weeks, but lately I've been craving bad, bad food. While my mind seems to be all in on the idea of eating crap, my stomach is of an opposing opinion. Crap food didn't used to make me feel ill, and now it does. Could this be construed as a fringe benefit of a healthier lifestyle? It certainly doesn't feel good right now, but I guess if it prevents me from eating like crap in the future, I'll try to see it as a good thing.
Monday, May 25, 2009
I was in a baking sort of mood today. Seeing as I'm not an avid baker in any sense of the word, I need simple recipes. This chocolate cupcake recipe from Soup of the Day is not only super easy, but makes the most amazingly moist cupcakes EVER!
Some of you may be thinking that desserts and diets don't exactly go hand in hand. I think with normal diets, this can be true. I view it a little differently, though.
I generally don't deprive myself. If I did more often, I'm sure this weight would come off faster. But I really don't believe in diets. Diets aren't usually something you can stick with forever. I'm going for more of a change of lifestyle. I imagine there will be many cupcakes in my future and rather than avoiding them all completely, I want to develop a healthy relationship with them so I can enjoy them and still stay healthy.
Of course, giving most of them to family and friends helps stave off temptation as well.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
I'm not a motivated person. It's true. Even when it involves things I think I really want. I don't like to call it laziness, cause that just sounds so bad. So I fancy it up and call it unmotivated.
Some people just ooze motivation. They can do it all. Work, go to school, raise a family, stay fit, yaddah yaddah yaddah. They are motivated to do it all. Motivation comes a little harder for me.
For me, inspiration comes before motivation. I can't simply motivate myself to do something. But if I can find a way to get inspired, that's all the motivation I need.
A friend of mine's mom lost weight a few years ago and now runs a crazy amount every day; something like five or six miles, in the mountains no less! She's just super healthy and fit. Talking to her inspired me, thus motivating me to continue with my seemingly futile efforts.
I'm sure I'll need another does of inspiration in no time. Lucky for me, it's all around. I just have to look for it.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Some of you may know I'm doing an internship with Wasatch Woman magazine this summer. One of their events is this "Love Your Body" 5K/10K in August.
When I started working out in March, I asked the personal trainer who did my assessment if I was crazy to think I'd be able to train myself to run the 3.1 miles by August. She said I absolutely could, like it would be no problem.
It's been a problem.
Two months later and I'm nowhere near being able to run even a quarter of a mile, let alone three. I'm wondering if this is a genetic disorder I have; my inability to run.
Back in high school (when I was thin; ah, memories...) I remember having to run the mile in gym class. The first time I "ran" it, it took me 15 minutes, which you may know is more like a brisk walk than a run. Even after a semester of working out every day, I still only shaved that down to 10 minutes. Now, if I could do that again, I'd be thrilled, but I'm in much worse shape now.
So, to any of you runners, can anyone run? I'm being serious. My lungs feel like they're going to explode and I breathe so hard I feel like I'm going to throw up. Are some people just meant to be walkers?
Also, if any of you are interested in checking out the Wasatch Woman magazine "Love Your Body" 5K/10K, you really should. It sounds great!
Friday, May 15, 2009
I have a sick addiction to weighing myself. I'm talking nearly every time I walk into my bathroom, I have to step on that scale.
I'm not sure why I do it. Maybe it's partially because I've lost a few pounds, so I check to make sure they are still gone. Or maybe it's because I'm expecting some sudden miracle and the scale will tell me I've lost 2o pounds. As you can imagine, this has yet to happen to me.
Do you think it's bad that I check my weight this often? How do I know when an addiction like this is adversely affecting my life?
As some of you may now, last week I was unable to find pita bread in any of the grocery stores in my little town. One more thing to add to my list of things I can't get in Brigham City.
Anyway, I was prompted by Two Peas and Their Pod to make my own pita bread from scratch. She claimed it was easy. So I figured I'd give it a whirl. I found this recipe that seemed relatively easy and adapted it to use my whole wheat flour I already had.
They turned out OK. Not great. I seem to have a problem with getting bread to rise. I at least think I know what I did wrong. It didn't say to cover the dough while rising, but I think I should have anyway. Nonetheless, they taste just fine. Of course, the whole reason I wanted to have whole wheat pita bread was to go with falafels I was all sorts of excited to try. But my food processor is broken, so I haven't been able to try that yet.
Moral of the story: Whole wheat pita bread was easy to make, just a little time consuming. But I don't think I'll bother buying from the store anymore.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Yes, you read that right. I love oatmeal cookies. I think they're my favorite because they aren't overwhelmingly sweet. And I can just about trick myself into thinking they're healthy.
I also love bran muffins. Orange-cranberry bran muffins, to be exact. I've been trying to find a good recipe, but all of my attempts have ended up very dry. So, I thought I'd combine these too. I looked up several recipes and found this oatmeal cookie recipe. But, instead of 3 cups of oatmeal, I used 2 1/2 and added 1/4 cup each oat bran and wheat bran, substituted the raisins with about a cup of dried cranberries and added the grated peel of one orange.
I made these yesterday. I don't generally consider myself a cook on any level, but these turned out phenomenally! Too good, in fact. I ate two. Clearly this doesn't bode well for my diet, but I've refrained from overindulging today. Besides, my evening-sweets craving has been calmed by a soda and a Twinkie up to now, so an oatmeal bran cookie made from scratch is, at the very least, a step up. Wouldn't you agree?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
I think wishes being jinxed when said aloud applies to much more than birthdays. It seems like every time I tell someone what my goals are, I fall short. Nonetheless, here I am, throwing caution to the wind. I'm telling you my wish...
I wish to be thin again.
I cringe to even type the words. It just feels like bad luck. But that's not fair. I should be able to voice my wishes and, hopefully, get some added support to reach those dreams.
I had an epiphany of sorts last weekend. I was feeling down (everyone has those days) about things in general. I won't get into details as they are certainly carbon copies of the random things everyone gets bummed over from time to time. But something struck me this time. While I may not be in control of things like the economy, school, job market, etc., I am in total and complete control of my body. Strange as it may sound, this made something click inside me. I am in complete control of what I take into my body and how I take care of it.
I feel a renewed endurance for this diet and exercise crap I've been doing for the last two months (again, with no results). I realized I haven't been doing everything I could be to get me to my goal. Now I've been able to keep this new motto, if you will, in mind with everything I do. I feel like I can do this, because it's my body. And nothing, not money, not school, not my husband, not anything or anyone can do it for me.
So, here I go. I think I'm doing fairly well, though, as I've lost four pounds. I'm sure that's not just since Sunday; I'm not delusional. But even seeing that helps motivate me. And, to really give myself some accountability, I'm willing to bear it all. Right here and now. I'm going to post my full picture, weight and measurements every month on this blog as a sort of progress report. So, if you're reading this, wish me luck, I guess.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Check it out.
I've always wanted to be flexible and yoga seems to deliver that. And since I can't get my husband to go to the gym with me in the mornings, I decided I should do yoga. Every morning!
So, does anyone know of a good beginners yoga dvd? I'm sure I'll bore of the one I've got fairly quickly, so I'll need something new.
Monday, April 27, 2009
I was waiting in line at the grocery store today when the cover of a Prevention Guide caught my eye. "Walking Fit: Walk Off 5, 10, 20 Pounds" Intrigued, I purchased it. The issue outlined a 6-week walking program that can supposedly burn more fat than running, even possibly dropping a dress size in said six weeks. I'm hooked.
But how can this be possible? I mean, walking? Anyone can walk, right? To say the least, I am skeptical, but optimistic. If I can somehow lose twenty pounds by walking, well, I could certainly handle that.
So, I started it today. It's a ridiculously simple plan to follow. And with the Wasatch Woman Magazine women-only 5k/10k run coming up in August, it seems like good timing. Here's hoping.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
New favorite snack: Laughing Cow Light Original Swiss. This stuff is so good. I feel like I'm eating something bad for me, but it's only 35 calories a serving. It's good on sandwiches, on apples and pears, or all by itself. Oh, Laughing Cow, I don't know what I did without you!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Unfortunately, I believe I've been sabotaging myself. Motivation has never been my strongest asset. I wouldn't even call it a weak asset. And while I'm almost enjoying going to the gym now, my diet (or lack there of) is making it nearly pointless. What's interesting is I love good food. I love cooked veggies, fish, chicken, salads, whole wheat pastas, fruits, legumes. I love it. My problem, it seems, is that I'm too lazy to cook anything like that for myself. For lunch and dinner I'm usually too, well, lazy to do much more than hit a fast food chain. And I really hate that about myself. I need to change if I'm ever going to lose this disgusting weight and finally get healthy.
So, what's my plan, you ask? Well, I'm going to start with making a list of breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks I like and are good for me. Then I'm going to make a menu for the week of dinners I'll make. Finally, I'm going to force myself to drink WAY more water and eat a healthy snack between each meal. There's no secret here. I need to quit eating fast food (also a money saving idea) and start eating the way I know I should be.
Wish me luck and cross your fingers. I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
I've been trying to eat better as well. But I have this problem. Nothing but fat, oily, deep-fried foods ever sound good to me. Particularly lunchtime. I hate figuring out what to make myself for lunch. Everything I think of either takes too long or is just plain boring. I hate sandwiches. Cold sandwiches are just not appetizing to me at all. I have to eat on campus three days a week, and cold lunches are just never satisfying to me.
What's worse is I'm disgusted by my fast-food habit. When I'm not hungry, fast food seems just gross. I mean, we've all seen Supersize Me, right? It's quite literally poison. But when I get hungry, I just don't care and I want something hot and savory.
Savory is the hardest thing for me. If you offered me the choice between french fries and ice cream, french fries would win every time. I don't have a sweet tooth. It's not even a salty tooth. It's a savory tooth. It's like I can't feel satiated without eating something fatty.
So, here is my plea. What do you eat for lunch? Keep in mind I don't have very much money, I don't have a lot of time, and ideally, I'd like to be able to pack it with me. Quick, cheap and tasty.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Of course, I don't exactly have the money to go do anything too crazy. (Darn this recession.) But I'm thinking even a night out would do it for me. Between the end of my semester getting the best of me and the workload at Mat's job picking up, we've been lucky to hit an Ihop and see a movie.
I'm thinking trying a new food would probably hold me over until my life settles down again. I've been wanting to try sushi, Indian food, and Greek food. Maybe I'll try the Indian Oven on Logan's main street. I just hope they serve something Mat will be willing to eat.
What do you think it is that makes me feel the need for adventure? I think it has to do with getting so busy I forget to stop and live my life. I focus so much on just getting by, that I forget to take the time to make life memorable. So while trying a new cuisine may not seem impressive, I think it's enough to step out of my comfort zone. Even if it is just a baby step.
Friday, April 3, 2009
I've been assured over and over again that since I've already started in my major that they can't change anything on me. The classes that I need to graduate will still be available. But that's really only half the issue. The classes being available is important, of course, but so is the quality of instruction in those classes. I feel like I see the journalism department crumbling before my eyes. I know I've only been in this major for a year, but it has quickly felt like home to me, so to see it going through such changes is, well, heartbreaking. So, as I said, it's made me a little upset.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Every now and then I get a wild desire to bake something. Tonight was one of those times. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a bit of a carb addict (as a result, I am also not a size 2). I originally wanted to make cupcakes, but I had run out of liners. So I decided to make a cake with bright yellow frosting. Before anyone gets excited, it's a cake mix and jar of icing. I've made cakes from scratch before, but I'm more of an immediate gratification kind of girl. Especially when it comes to dessert. Besides, it's really good. I think I'll call it my "Come on Springtime" cake.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
These are by designer Sandra Backlund from her current and previous collections. My jaw hit the floor when I saw these. I do a little crocheting, but I'm thinking I may need to switch to knitting. These pieces are admittedly not extremely wearable, but the inventiveness in each piece (not to mention the time!) is truly inspiring to me. Just fabulous.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
1-Where did you meet your husband?
I high school. I was going with a friend to hang out with a guy she liked and some of his friends out in Corinne (if you know the area, you know how pathetic this is). I saw Mat and I immediately thought he was very attractive. I don't know if he said more than five words to me that night, but he was hot, so I didn't even care.
2- How long did you date before getting married?
We dated for a year and eight months before we got married. I hold the record in my family for longest courtship. Though part of that is because we were still in high school.
3-How long have we been married?
6 years and 4 months. Phew! It really doesn't feel like it's been that long.
4- What does he do that surprises you?
I don't think I fully understand this question. But, I'll try. It surprises me that for not being very religious, he has wonderful morals and values. He's a good person without really believing there's a carrot at the end of the stick. It surprises me when he knows the words to a song that I never would have guessed he likes. It surprises me when he's willing to see a ballet with me. It surprises me when he's so sensitive to me and my feelings and that he's just willing to listen to me vent and bitch without trying to fix things.
5- What is your favorite feature of his?
I love his eyes. They are dark brown. And I love his shoulders; so broad! And I love his legs; they aren't chicken-y at all. Very nice.
6- What is his best quality?
Besides what I listed in question 5? I guess his ability to make me feel so content. No matter what's going on or how stressed I am, when he wraps his arms around me it's like nothing in the world is wrong. He just makes me feel very safe.
7-Does he have a nickname for you?
Girly, Chickie, Butt...
8- What is his favorite food?
Lasagna. He loves cheese. And steak, when he cooks it at least. He makes a mean steak.
9- What is his favorite sport?
I'm actually the sports fan in the relationship. He likes to play football, a little. But he doesn't watch any at all.
10- When did you first kiss?
We kissed the night we met. Just a little peck. He claims I kissed him, but he totally kissed me.
11- What is your favorite thing to do as a couple?
We are homebodies. We love cuddling and watching movies. Sunday afternoon naps on the couch are a personal favorite of mine.
12- Do you have any children?
13- Does he have any hidden talents?
He's amazingly creative and I don't think many people get to see that side of him. He's great at woodworking, as well. He's built quite a bit of our furniture. He's got a good eye for art, too.
14- How old is he?
15- What is his favorite music?
I guess you'd just call is rock. Metallica, Disturbed, Breaking Benjamin, Hinder...
16- What do you admire about him?
He is very caring, and sensitive to me. He is extremely kind and giving. And he almost never raises his voice to me, which I'm pretty sure I make difficult. He's just a very loving person.
17- What's his favorite color?
I honestly don't think he has one. As far as clothes go, he likes more muted colors, black, gray, brown, blue...
18- Will he read this?
Not unless he comes in and looks over my shoulder.
19- Who said "I love you" first?
He did. It didn't take him very long either. It took me a little longer to say back.
20- Who do I tag??? - Nikki Kirby, Ashley Hansen, Chelsea Hansen.... I don't think anyone else reads my blog...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Here's a link to my previous Experiences post to refresh your memory.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
What do you think?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
I've been tagged. I've never been tagged before, it's quite exciting. So, here goes...
1.) Coca Cola. It's a sickness, really. I'm fully aware that if I were to quit, I could easily lose ten pounds. But I'm just not strong enough. I get cravings that simply cannot be ignored.
2.) Scarves. All shapes, sizes and colors. I love all the different ways you can wrap them, and they way they add a splash of color to an outfit. Not to mention, they are usually rather inexpensive.
3.) Crocheting/yarn. I picked it up a few years ago, and I just love it. It's my favorite way to relax. Though it will give me a nasty kink in the neck if I do it for too long. But I just love mastering a new stitch and perusing the yarn section of the craft store, imagining all the wonderful things I could make.
4.) My husband. Sure, there are days I'd like to smother him in his sleep. And I'm sure he feels the same way about me. But I don't think I could go without him. The way he wraps his arm around me and makes me feel utterly safe, or the way he looks at me when I'm in my pajamas like I'm the hottest thing he's ever seen. The list would simply be too long to attempt. Suffice it to say, he makes me very happy. (Sorry, no pic. He's very camera shy.)
5.) Shoes. Okay, I know. I couldn't be a bigger cliche. And I do basically love all things fashion related, but there is truly something special about shoes. I mean, when was the last time you tried on a shoe and felt like it made your butt look fat. Shoes can make or break and outfit. And one glance into my closet suggests I can't get enough.
Wow, this was harder than I expected. So, I guess at this point I am supposed to tag people. Well, I guess I tag my sisters, Sam, Jeni and Kristine. Have fun girls!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
This band is called Get Scared. These three guys have known each other for a very long time. Bradley Lloyd and Nicholas have been in a band together for almost 10 years now. They've been talented all along, but their new sound is even better than before and truly showcases their talents. They've really grown as musicians and it's apparent. I recommend checking them out. They are in the hard rock genre, but their musicality is incredible. I have very few other cds in my collection that would also belong in this genre, but I really enjoy their new songs. Check them out on Myspace. http://www.myspace.com/getscaredrock